Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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