jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
