There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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