who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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