You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
