Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
