my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
