I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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