im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
