well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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