He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
