shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
