yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
