I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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