Pants 0. Shit 1.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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