your room smells of hookers.
And success
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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