youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
