I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
