There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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