He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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