Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
