how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
