It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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