Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
