I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
