i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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