WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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