Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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