tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
