I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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