oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize