is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
