I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
