its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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