Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I cockslap morals
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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