Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
