Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Of course I have a pirate flag
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
