I can text with my tongue
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
