I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
