weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
