fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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