Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
nutella sex= disaster
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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