Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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