And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
