Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
