I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
