She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize