I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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