the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
