What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
