I got chris browned last night
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
