I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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