their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
