How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
