so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
