no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Alive.
So much puke
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
