thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
