Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
