Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
