I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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