dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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